It is 1942. The Sahara. A place so hot you can scramble eggs on a tank’s armour, and mirages show you a frothy mug of something cold instead of water.

Here, in the middle of the Great Frying Pan, an elite unit operated in complete obscurity from the history books, mainly because the historians got hungry while writing them. This was Afrika Porks, a special expeditionary corps whose sole mission was to secure strategic calorie reserves.

The situation at the front: morale was high, but the lard supply was melting away at an alarming rate. Their commander, Brigadier General Knurmel, studied the tactical map. They were not looking for oil. They were not looking for cities. They were searching for the legendary Oasis of the Eternal Barbecue, where intelligence reported deposits of the desert’s rarest resource: barbecue sauce.

“Gentlemen!” shouted the general, adjusting the helmet that doubled as his stew bowl. “The enemy is merciless. The heat is trying to render us down, and sand is getting into the gears of our meat grinders. But we will not surrender! We are Afrika Porks!”

The decisive engagement: a lone palm tree appeared on the horizon, just like the one on the unit’s badge. It was a sign. But beneath it waited no ordinary enemy. This was the most fearsome foe of any self-respecting pork soldier: the Desert Dietitians, armed with lettuce and steamed broccoli.

General Knurmel did not hesitate. “Forks at the ready!” he ordered.

This battle was fought with flavour, not bullets. As the soldiers of Afrika Porks drew their tactical forks (pictured here), the scent of roast pork neck filled the air. The aroma was so powerful that the Dietitians surrendered, abandoned their kale and asked for seconds.

Epilogue: legend has it that Afrika Porks never lost a single lunch. Even today, when the wind blows in from the desert, you can catch a faint hint of marjoram and smokehouse smoke. Their motto was: “Where others see sand, we see breadcrumbs.”

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Choose your size using the chart next to the size selector. For the best fit, compare the measurements with a garment that fits you well.

How to care for your print

Machine wash inside out at up to 30°C (86°F) on a gentle cycle.
Use a mild detergent. Do not bleach.
Air dry away from direct sunlight. Do not tumble dry.
Iron inside out, avoiding the printed area. Never iron directly over the print.

SIZE	CHEST WIDTH (cm)	LENGTH (cm)	SLEEVE LENGTH (cm)
S	46	71	85
M	51	74	89
L	56	76	93
XL	61	79	97
2XL	66	81	100
3XL	71	84	100
4XL	76	86	102
5XL	81	89	103

Afrika Porks Longsleeve

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How to care for your print